TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
