we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
