Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
