the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
