note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
