just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
