Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Randomize
