Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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