id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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