...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
