What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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