Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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