His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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