I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
