Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
