i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
