It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Randomize
