There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
