I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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