I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
