Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
