You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize