how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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