i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Vodka?
Forever.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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