If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
