He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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