I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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