But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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