tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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