the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
