I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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