I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
