Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
he just fucked me for my cheese..
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
