do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
