My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
