I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
