he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
