I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
