I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
