hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize