At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
