Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
