Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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