they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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