That's intense
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
