he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
