Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize