There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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