Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
