I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
