she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
