If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
