how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
