is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
