she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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