Well douche your snatch and let's go!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
