How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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