wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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