his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
