my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Randomize
