You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
