Having a random hookup so left but love u
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
