Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I got inside last night via doggy door
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
