I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We talked him into tasing himself.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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