dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
